Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.