when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
27 Common Occurrences Everyone Can Relate To But No One Talks About
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
21 People Intentionally Did Despicable Things During Sex
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER