Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?