Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
Just pee around me
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.