Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
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She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
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My breasts were aching with rage.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.