After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
