It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
this must be what syphilis tastes like
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
