I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
Randomize
