sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
