I think I can smell my own vagina right now
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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