I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
Randomize