I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
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