I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
My day in three words: secret purse cake
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
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