I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
His nipple licking is glorious
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