Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
