Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
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