after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
Life is so much better after having sex.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
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