we're blogging at a bar
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
