You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize
