i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
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