You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
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