he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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