doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Randomize
