I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
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