i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
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