If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
In America we eat man semen.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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