11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
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I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
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Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
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