I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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