I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
