I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
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