I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
She just used a chaser for red wine.
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
Randomize
