I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
Randomize
