That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
Randomize
