as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
