yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
Dude, this old lady messaged me on Facebook talking about her grandson and wanted to know shit about me. I'd almost call her a cougar except she looks like mashed potatoes that have come alive.
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.