therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"