I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse