I'm sorry my penis didn't work
If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?