The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
