he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
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