I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
The air was thick with penises
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Randomize
