Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
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