What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Randomize
