i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
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