Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
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