i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
