Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
I still have a little drunk in my system
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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