Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
