you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
