We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
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