Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
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