When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
Blood and glitter go together right?
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
Randomize