Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
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