He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
Randomize
