TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
