She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
Randomize
