do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Randomize
