i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
