I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
Randomize
