He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
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