sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
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