How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Randomize
