It's Friday. Sex?
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Randomize
