I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
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